


Tidal Wave

by Hitsutake



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:02:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24778099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hitsutake/pseuds/Hitsutake
Summary: Sometimes my grief was nearby, waiting, just barely held back, and I could ignore it for a while. But at other times it was like a cup that was always full and kept spilling over. Today feels like the latter.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Yamato | Tenzou
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have to give credit to the author Lydia Davis for the first line of this work. It's based off a line from her book Can't and Won't. It was just too perfect to set the scene for Kakashi. This story will be from Kakashi's POV. Most of my stories are from Tenzō's POV (because it's honestly easier and gives you way more freedom), so I wanted to do something different this time. A lot of it is inspired by events that happened in the manga/anime, but not necessarily the exact same. It's set right after the fight with Pain that destroyed the village. I've felt inspired lately, so I hope to update pretty regularly. I hope you enjoy it and please feel free to leave a comment :)

* * *

Sometimes my grief was nearby, waiting, just barely held back, and I could ignore it for a while. But at other times it was like a cup that was always full and kept spilling over. Today feels like the latter.

Standing at the foot of a grave, I let the rain wash over me like a tidal wave. Taking the whole force of it into my being, hoping if I just stand there long enough it will wash my soul clean. But it doesn’t. And it does nothing to cleanse this grave either. I stare down at the empty shell that used to be my everything. My reason for existing. The band-aid for this mangled heart fucked beyond recognition. How many times have I come here, silent, waiting, expecting something to spring from the earth if I stared at it long enough… but nothing ever does.

“I figured I should probably say something to you this time, but the whole way here, and even now, I can’t find the words to say,” I mutter.

Crouching down, I place my hand gently on the top of the grave, caressing it as my hand falls back down to my side.

“I think you’d be about 40 today... what an old man you’ve become,” I chuckle dryly, “I grew up just fine. A little worse for wear nowadays, but fine all the same,” I sigh.

As I stand to walk away, I take one last glance at the grave. A whispered “happy birthday, dad” is all I can manage before disappearing out of sight. The rain falling from my hair glistens on the way to the ground, landing directly on top of freshly cut flowers that always appear around this time of year. Though it remains unknown who lays them here, there’s always the slightest hint of sandalwood in the air around the cemetery.

I kick off my shoes as soon as I walk through the tent that is my new sanctuary. The flame is out in my lantern, but I don’t even have the energy to light it anymore. It’s been 20 years since my father died, but his memory still haunts me. Knocking me off my feet as soon as I start to have a glimmer of hope that things might actually be ok. _What an unwelcomed house guest_ I think to myself as I plop down on my futon before drifting off to sleep.

_The faint sounds of a fire crackling can be heard. Sitting up, I look around. There’s the shadow of a figure sitting on a log nearby. There is nothing else around. No wind, no ground, just the emptiness of consciousness all around us. I stand up and walk over to sit on the log directly across from the figure._

_“Do you know where we are?” I exhale as I sit down. But just as I look up, I am almost knocked over by the realization of who is before me. The light from the fire reflecting off a forehead protector, the Konoha leaf illuminated against the backdrop of long silver hair. I clutch my chest as I try to get my lungs to start breathing again._

_“You…” I breathe, “wha-what are you doing here?”_

_The long haired shinobi chuckles at my complete inability to form a sentence. “I was wondering how long it would take you to get here,” he smiles warmly, “I’ve been waiting a long time,” he sighs, “it’s rude to keep your father waiting like this you know.”_

_“Dad… I-I-“_

_“I know son,” he closes his eyes._

_“Happy Birthday,” I whisper._

_The man laughs a deep laugh, “20 years and that’s all you’ve got huh?” he smiles._

_I look away embarrassed. But as more seconds pass I find myself unable to pick my gaze back up, afraid that when I do he won’t still be here. That thought crushes me like a rock._

_“I’ve been watching over you all these years, you know?” he says fondly._

_I jerk my head up and stare through the flames of my regret._

_“I’m proud of you, son,” he smiles brightly._

_I can feel tears forming at the corners of my eyes, unable to stop them from spilling out like tiny waterfalls. “I haven’t done anything to deserve your praise,” I whisper, hanging my head._

_“What are you talking about? Of course you have. I may have been confused about a lot of things right at the end, but I don’t for one second regret saving my comrades. And watching you all these years has only strengthened that affirmation. Sure, you’ve been a bit clumsy at times, and admittedly your childhood could have definitely been better. I’ll take the blame for that. But you’ve never once abandoned your comrades, and for that I am the proudest father in the world.”_

_I look up at him through tears, “I was angry for a long time, but now that I’m older I understand why you did what you did. And I forgive you,” I breathe, relief washing over me._

_A single tear falls from the eye of the man before me, dropping to the ground like an exploding firework in the dim glow of the fire. “I think it’s about time we both get out of here, don’t you think?” he smiles, “It’s been so long since I’ve seen your mother.”_

_I smile back at him, comfortable silence my only response._

_“Goodbye, son,” he smiles warmly as his spirit is lifted up into the stars. The fire before me starts to flicker and smolder into ash until there is nothing left._

_“Goodbye, dad,” I say into the sky._

I slowly blink my eyes open to the darkness of my surroundings. I touch my face, and it’s wet with tears. I’m uncertain of exactly what just happened, but regardless of whether it was an agony induced coma or some distant form of reality, I think to myself that I might finally be able to move on from this ghost. And that thought alone comforts me as I drift back to sleep, a smile unseen for decades playfully dancing across my lips.


	2. Chapter 2

“You…” A brown hair shinobi whispers, half dead looking, standing in the rubble that has become the front door to my new ‘home.’

“Hmm?” I look up from my book.

“You…”

“What's wrong, Tenzō?” I say, irritation playing in my voice.

“YOU IDIOT!” Tenzō shouts as he b-lines straight for me.

Surprised, I drop my book and an arm goes instinctively in front of me as a sign of defense. What exactly my arm is going to do against my angry kouhai, I’m not too sure. “uhh.. Tenzō? What’re you doing?” I ask, deciding it’s probably better just to crawl out the back flap of the tent.

An arm grabs the collar of my jacket and pulls me back down. Tenzō whips me around and puts his hands on both of my shoulders, studying me up and down. He twists me in every direction my body could go before settling his gaze back into my eyes. I can see the beginnings of tears forming at his eyelids and my irritation turns into understanding.

“…you idiot,” he whispers as he throws his arms around me and crushes me with the weight of his hug, “you big, stupid idiot,” tears stream from his eyes.

I sigh, reaching one hand up to pat his back reassuringly, “Hey… I’m fine, see? I’m in one piece. I’m totally fine. I’m alive,” I breathe those last two words as if I’m not entirely sure of their truth myself and nuzzle my chin in the crook of his neck. The scent of sandalwood swirls around my brain, making me a little dizzy.

“Senpai… do you have any idea how I felt when I found out?” he whimpers into my shoulder.

“I’m sorry to have worried you, kouhai,” I say quietly, “but I think we both know you’d have done the same thing in my position.” I pull back so I can look at his face. It’s puffy and swollen and snot is coming out of his nose. _Man, you really are ugly when you cry, Tenzō,_ I chuckle to myself.

Tenzō sniffles and looks up at me, “that’s not the point, Senpai.”

I smile, “and what’s with all these tears anyway, hmm? You’re making me feel embarrassed. What if someone walks by and sees what an ugly face you’re making?” I laugh playfully.

“Oh, seriously Senpai, you’re so mean,” he hiccups, wiping his face with his sleeve.

“There, that’s better” I say firmly.

Tenzō looks back at me with a look I’ve never quite seen before. The look of a broken man. Defeated and beaten beyond recognition. The look of a man who thought he had lost everything. He looked like death. Maybe even smelled a little like it too.

“What?” I cock my head to the side and study him.

I can see him gnawing away at his bottom lip, thoughts no doubt swirling around his head, trying to decide whether to actually say what he’s thinking. I can’t say I blame him. What do you say to someone you care about when they were dead one minute and then suddenly alive again the next? If it had been Tenzō I can’t say I would have reacted much differently. Ok, well, perhaps that’s not entirely true. Should Tenzō ever be taken from this Earth I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be able to cope with it. And how could I? How could I go on when the person I love more than anyone in the entire universe is-

A wave of realization suddenly washes over me and my heart begins to beat out of my chest.

… _The person I-…_

My eyes grow wide with panic as I stare at the face of the only person in my 20 some odd years of life that I have ever thought of in that way.

Tenzō looks at me, concern clear as day on his face. “Senpai?” his voice quivers ever so slightly and he clears his throat in an attempt to strengthen it again.

“I-“ I open my mouth to speak, but I can’t get the words to come out of my mouth. They’re stuck in my throat, clinging hold to whatever they can find, desperately trying to keep from coming out.

Tenzō gives me a gentle shake trying to snap me out of whatever this is, “Oi.”

“Tenzō.” I say tender but firm, gently laying a hand on his.

I can see him internally correcting me for not calling his name properly for the one millionth time, and a blush forms on my cheeks at the thought of how cute he is when he does that. I lower his hands from my shoulders and place them back in his lap. He looks at me confused, unsure of what I’m doing. I smile lightly and stare into his eyes. Moving one hand up to cup his cheek, I lean in and brush my lips against his before locking into a kiss. I can feel Tenzō’s body go stiff at the action and his eyes grow wider with each passing second. For a brief moment I think that I can hear his heart beating out of his chest, but then I am reminded that it’s my own that I hear.

I slip my tongue between his lips and deepen my kiss. I never thought another person could taste this good, and I blush even deeper at the thought.

“mm—senp— wai—" I feel against my lips, and I lean out of the kiss a little out of breath.

“Oh, sorry,” I say, panic evident in my trembling voice, “I should probably go see if anyone needs my help rebuilding anything.” I go to stand up, but a hand pulls me back down.

“You don’t think you were just going to get to leave after doing a thing like that, did you?” Tenzō says a little flabbergasted.

I sigh as I get myself situated, crossing my legs and folding my hands into my lap, “I had hoped to, yes.”

Tenzō looks at me with one of his signature ‘are you fucking serious right now senpai’ looks and I can’t stifle to laugh that comes out of my mouth.

“What are you laughing at?” he demands, a little more irritated than before.

“I was just thinking about how cute it is that you always make that expression when I do something stupid,” I smile.

I can hear the air get stuck in Tenzō’s lungs as he tries to process the situation. “Senpai…” he blushes, “I’m not sure I understand…” he trails off and looks down at the ground.

I lift his chin with one finger, forcing him to look at me.

“What part didn’t you understand?”

“If this is just some weird reaction to dying then I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tease me like that,” he whispers.

“Maa, well I admit it does have to do with me dying, but I definitely was not teasing you,” I cock my head to the side and watch his reaction go from confusion to embarrassment and back to confusion before finally settling on something bordering lust.

“I didn’t realize it before,” I say.

“Didn’t realize what?” he asks.

“I didn’t realize what this feeling was,” I point to the place in my chest where my heart is supposed to be.

“And what feeling is that?” he asks sheepishly.

I smirk, irritated that he’s going to make me actually say the words out loud. Reading about them in Icha Icha is one thing, but actually saying them myself is something else entirely.

I rub the back of my head embarrassed, “Maa… well.. you know.. that feeling people have when they’re with someone they care about,” the words tumble awkwardly out of my mouth.

Tenzō’s face flushes red, “so, you’re saying you care about me?” he averts his gaze.

“Of course I care about you. What kind of question is that?” I scoff.

Tenzō furrows his brow as he looks up at me, “you know what I meant, Senpai,” he pouts.

“Dying didn’t give me any ideas that I didn’t already have of all these years,” I smile, gently brushing my knuckles over his cheek, “It just sped up my decision on what to do about them.”

I can see a smile playing on Tenzō’s lips as I continue, “how many years have we been together now? 10? 15?” I sigh, “I’m sorry I’m so late, Kouhai.”

I cup his face in my hands as I kiss him again. This time more deeply and more urgent than the last. To my surprise, Tenzō kisses me back. His hand crawling its way into my unkempt hair. He pulls, sending a shiver down my spine. _Oh that does it_ , I think as I push him back against the futon on the floor. I hover over the top of him trying to catch my breath.

“Oi! Sakura-chan! Wait up!” Naruto yells as he runs past the tent.

Our bodies go rigid at the realization of where we are and we quickly shuffle back into our previous places. I cough trying to clear the tension from the room and a punch swiftly taps me in the shoulder.

“Senpai!” Tenzō scolds.

“Sorry, sorry!” I chuckle as I rub the spot he just hit.

“Thank you for coming back to me,” he whispers as he gets up to leave, but not before placing a gentle kiss on the top of my head, and then suddenly vanishes out of sight.

“Thank you for waiting,” I whisper after him.


	3. Chapter 3

“So as I was saying, I think it should be fine if we breach the structure from the north side where the security isn’t as tight,” Yamato says, pointing to a spot on a map.

“Or it’s a trap and they’ve left that side open knowing we’d attack there,” Sakura counters.

“Hmm. It’s possible,” Yamato says rubbing his chin, “Kakashi-senpai what do you think?” They both turn to look at me.

_What a pain,_ I think to myself as I reluctantly pick myself up off the ground and walk over to the map. Just because the village is a mess doesn’t mean our missions stop apparently. I study it for a few seconds before deciding that it might be best to have two groups formed - one for the north side and one for the south. “I think it would be smart to assume that both of you could be correct and plan accordingly. Sakura, you go with Naruto to the south side, and Yamato and I will go to the north side of the structure. That way we’ve covered all our bases,” I say flatly.

“Good idea, Senpai,” Yamato says, an ever so slight smirk formed at the corner of his mouth.

“Well that’s settled then,” Sakura shouts, slapping her hand on the table, “let’s meet back up at the rendezvous point in one hour.”

“Dismissed!” I shout, disappearing into the woods.

There’s a calm chill in the air and I can’t help the sigh that escapes my lips as we make it to our vantage point. There’s something particularly melancholy about nights like this, and it always puts me in a mood.

“Something wrong, Senpai?” Yamato asks, interrupting my thoughts.

“Not particularly,” I brush off.

“Ok, well we’re here. I think we should stop,” Yamato replies.

Looking down from the tree we’re situated in, I pull up the left side of my mask, revealing my Sharringan. I scan the structure for chakra signals.

“There’s about 30 of them total throughout the entire structure. If we get the timing right then we should have no problems,” I say.

I look over at Yamato, he coughs looking at the ground and a slight pink hue illuminates his face.

_What a cute reaction_ , I think to myself before immediately shaking the thought out of my head. _Get a grip_ , I tell myself.

“Are you ok, Tenzō?” I cock my head to the side. “If you aren’t feeling well you can sit this one out.”

“Wha-? N-no, I’m fine, really,” Tenzō stammers, “and its Yamato! How many times do I have to tell you that?”

I study his facial expression for a second, “Your face looks a bit pink though. Maybe you should stop by the hospital when we get back just in case,” I say, teasing.

Tenzō’s face flushes beet red. “I told you I’m fine, Senpai!” he yells.

“Ok, ok. All I’m saying is you’re not a machine Ten- _Yamato_. Just make sure to take care of your health,” I say with half-fake concern.

“I got it,” Yamato spits.

Of course, I know he isn’t sick. He’s always been taken aback by the sight of my Sharringan, or really any part of my face for that matter, but it’s the same reaction anyone has when they see something they think they shouldn’t. And I can’t help but want to tease him.

Up ahead I can see Sakura and Naruto sprinting towards the south side of the structure.

“It’s time,” I say, pushing off from the tree, landing directly in front of the northern wall. I wave some signals at Yamato before he disappears around the corner. I can hear his Mokkuton explode from the ground. That takes care of that side. Now for this side. “Chidori! _”_ I shout, lightning exploding from my arm. That takes care of this side.

“Oi, Yamato!” I shout behind me, “the perimeter is secure. Let’s get what we came for and get out of here.”

I can see Sakura and Naruto exit the structure up ahead – a scroll in hand. “Did you get it?” I shout as we finally catch up to them.

“We got it,” Naruto beams, holding up the scroll, “it’s was a piece of cake!”

“Did you make sure it was the right one?” I poke playfully.

“Of course it’s the right one, Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto scoffs.

“Maa, well you can never be too sure,” I say throwing my hands up and shrugging my shoulders.

I can hear a tiny chuckle from behind me, and I turn to look at Yamato. His face flushes pink again as he turns to avert his gaze.

“I really meant what I said earlier, ok?”

“Would you stop it already, Senpai!” Yamato shouts back, “I’m not sick!”

Sakura looks at us with a confused look on her face, but decides it’s better not to ask. “Let’s go home,” she suggests.

“Oh right. Let’s go!” I push off the ground and into the trees headed back towards home.

Thinking back to Tenzō’s reaction causes a slight flutter in the pit of my stomach, and I recoil at it’s insinuation. _Get a grip_ , I repeat to myself.


End file.
